There is a concern among many of us
that the movie Idiocracy is less a comedy and more of a
prophecy. If you haven't seen it then you should because it is funny
and scary at the same time. The basic premise is that the smart
people are controlling the number of children they produce while
those with less developed mental faculties (that is a kind way of
saying they are as dumb as tree fungus) are just cranking out the
babies and lowering the collective I.Q. There seems to be some truth
to that as I people watched at Dollywood. The tourists have their 2.3
kids and are doing well except for that .3 kid who looks really weird
and keeps stumbling since he only has one foot. The hillbillies who
come to town for a day at that Pardon girl's place and have 14 kids
really need to consider getting a new hobby.
There are also a few of us who have a
rather Darwinian theory to help avoid the nincompoop nation that is
forecast in that film. Do you ever wonder about the warning labels on
all those products out there? Sitting right in front of me is a bad
of trail mix. I like eating it because it has fruit, nuts and M&Ms.
Anything that lets me eat an M&M and think it is healthy is good
in my book. On the bag are pictures of almonds, cashews and peanuts.
The clear window in the bag shows the actual nuts sitting there
looking at you begging to be eaten. Just a second. Chomp. Crunch.
Chew. That handful of nuts is no longer begging to be eaten. Yum!
Anyway, there is a warning on the bag that is clear as day, “Allergy
warning. Contains nuts.” No kidding! Gee. What are the odds? If you
have a nut allergy you should be looking for nuts in your food. If
you are allergic to nuts and are grabbing handfuls of trail mix then
anaphylactic shock is the least of your concerns.
There are also warning on standard
items that should not be there. If someone is dumb enough to use the
hairdrier IN THE SHOWER then the gene pool needs that kind of
chlorine shock to clean it out. What about the warning label a bottle
of Jack Daniels? It basically says alcohol may impair you. Isn't that
the point if drinking it? Of course alcohol has played a role on many
of the Darwin Awards that have been awarded over the years. The
awards and the movie by the same name are really worth your time to
check out. Many people's last slurred words have been: “I wonder if
that would work?” The answers is usually a very loud “NO!!!”
You know we could just go the opposite
direction with warning labels and label everything with all the
possibilities that exist.
- Warning: Ice cream may make you fat.
- Warning: Guns may fire bullets.
- Warning: Rabid wildebeests may not be friendly.
- Warning: Breathing air causes cancer.
- Warning: Sponge Bob is stupid.
- Warning: Gravity may make you fall down. (Alcohol and gravity are allies on that one.)
- Warning: Mirrors are bad for your self esteem after eating the ice cream while getting stampeded by the rabid wildebeests unless you're impaired by Jack.
- Warning: Feet stink.
- Warning: Taco Bell may cause flaming flatulence if eaten by candlelight.
- Warning: What happens in Vegas shows up on Pawn Stars.
- Warning: Lawyers want to sue you.
You tell me. What should be do? Get rid
of the warnings or add more to amuse ourselves. I just don't know;
but both will make me laugh!
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