There are many guilty pleasures that
none of us want to admit we enjoy. There is Dexter
which appeals to our sense of justice when the good guy serial killer
go after the ones that get away with murder. There is the extra large
Dairy Queen chocolate malt with whipped cream and two cherries that
you savor in the same way that light savors the slow speed in which
it travels. Then there wearing the boxer briefs filled with tapioca
that I know everyone else does secretly but I am boldly standing
before you today proclaiming that I like it! What do you mean no one
else does that? Just me? I'm kidding. I don't do that often.
But
there is one show that gives me a guilty pleasure like no other: How
I Met Your Mother. It's OK. You
can admit it too. There is the lonesome loser of Ted who never seems
to find the woman of his dreams which is a good thing because had
that happened in episode 2 it would have been a very short series
since it is about how he met the kids' mother. There is also Robin
who is always the pretty girl who can't seem to stick with one guy
possibly due to her love of Canada, guns, and the fact that she has a
right cross that has knocked guys out cold. Marshall and Lilly will
always be the perfect couple who are trying to make things work in a
world that surrounds them with challenges of couplehood, parenthood
and lots of beer. And then there is Barney.
Barney
Stinson, played amazingly well by Neil Patrick Harris, is one of the
best men out there for guys who are single. He shows how to pick up
women in every conceivable way. He has picked up women as Barak
Obama, Jr., Neil Armstrong, the bassist of Cheap Trick and as a gay
guy getting a lesbian. (The humor in that goes beyond the character
to real life if you think about it.) But the real test remains to be
seen. Could Barney pick up chicks dressed as a chicken? I would love
to see that! What's that Barney? Challenge accepted? YES! I'm sure
the jokes about chickens and laying eggs almost write themselves.
Then we need to get him to try it while sky diving. I don't mean
skinny skydiving which they have already discussed ad nauseum (that
means til you want to puke) but picking up a woman while in free-fall
without her cutting his parachute! That would be the ultimate
rejection! Perhaps we need to see him picking up a supermodel while
wearing hush puppies, a white shirt buttoned all the way to the top
with a pocket protector and his hair Brill Creamed back like so many
of us in high school looked...I mean so many of you. Not us. Ha ha
ha ha.
Do you
want to know what I like best about Barney. It is not the number of
women he gets. It is not the suits although they are
legen...wait-for-it...dary. It is the fact that he is the biggest cad
out there. Yes I used the word cad and didn't refer to Hugh Grant!
Gentleman pay attention. This is important! No matter how bad your
opening line is you can salvage it by doing the following:
- Laugh at it.
- Say, “I'm sorry but I can't keep a straight face when I say that.”
- Point to a random table of guys and say, “They bet me I wouldn't use that line that we all saw on How I Met Your Mother by Barney. Isn't he the worst guy ever?”
- Think of everything Barney would do or say and do the opposite. Think of it the same way you think of child rearing and how your dad did things.
I
honestly think that will really work well guys. Go out there and give
it your best shot. He is an inspiration to us all as a means of what
NEVER to do! And if by some miraculous stroke of unintended and
accidental genius all this is right, let me know so I can try it too.
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