The End of World

With the approach of the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar I have been wondering how it is going to happen. The Mayans probably just ran out of space on a stone and really didn't care about things after December 21, 2012. Considering the sense of humor that God has by creating the platypus, the color chartreuse, the word "wobble", and me; I think he will find a more interesting way of ending the world instead of the fires, floods, asteroid and earthquakes that people predict. The following are my top five creative ways the world could end.

5. The center of the earth is pierced by a deep sea drilling rig and we discover the core is not a lead sphere surrounded by molten lead but really full of cow flatulence and the world ends in a massive fart as the methane escapes and the earth falls in on itself.

4. Dolphins, after years of trying to communicate with us by dancing on their tails, in an act of frustrations release the secret weapon of killer tuna who attack all sea going vessels, take over the navy, and launch a preemptive nuclear strike on humanity from within flooded subs.

3. Mutant howler monkeys, after seeing planet of the apes, activate the secret primate mind control banana pudding. It begins in the south of the United States where everyone loves banana pudding with vanilla wafers but then spreads until we are all under the spell of the howler monkeys who turn Australia into one big human zoo and throw peanuts at us from New Zealand.

2. A glitter factory explodes making the atmosphere sparkle reflecting all the sunlight onto the moon which causes it to heat up and hatch the giant space slug at its core which then eats the earth as it's first meal.

1. All the apocalypse movies come true all at once and Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson are all on a coffee break.

I know it is sad but that fart thing would be a really cool way to go! Of course we all know that it is really going to end without a warning and then we will...