There are some amazing flowers in the
world. A spring day walking along a spring fed stream in the
mountains with the smell of honeysuckle in the breeze is one of the
sweetest scents in the world. The rose's subtle smell when passed
from the hand of one lover to another takes on an emotional element
that stays in the mind long after the event has faded from memory.
Even the aroma of fresh cut grass brings back memories long forgotten
from a youth sitting in the back yard with a glass of iced tea after
working hard mowing the lawn. Then there is the Rafflesia Arnoldi.
The Rafflesia Arnoldi is ranked the
world's worst smelling flower! Kudos to that plant! That is saying
something when you compare it to the Dead Horse Arum Lily, the Corpse
Flower and the Voodoo Lily which all smell like rotting meat. But the
Rafflesia the dubious distinction of being the worst of the worst.
Imagine if you will the fumes of a dead raccoon that has been buried
in a pig pen for 18 days then moved to sit in the sun in a pool of
goat urine. Vivid, isn't it? It attracts flies to help pollinate it
or it just likes the way their little legs feel on its pedals. I
can't help but wonder what would happen if you planted that in a
luxurious botanical garden.
“Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so
much for coming out for the opening of our new wing of the Snootius
Laborious Botanicus Gardenius. We have appreciated all the baskets of
money you have thrown at us this year. The plants are doing pretty
good except for that incident with the lawn mower in the orchids and
the runaway weed eater accident in the nearly extinct plant section.
That last incident allowed us to add 5 new plants to the totally
extinct list. Also the 'Butt-Ugly' section is coming along nicely
since we added the Climbing Onion plants to the Birthwort. It is
really looking good in a bad kind of way. Now if you will please put
on your gas masks we will enter the band new 'Plants of Rotting
Flesh' section.
“Please notice the flowers not only
smell like dead decaying deer but they also look as if they could be
in the 'Butt-Ugly' section too. Now if any of you are brave enough to
take off your gas masks please do so at this time. All right now if
someone could please assist Mrs. Vanden Burkowitz? There is an oxygen
tank right there on the wall. The danger of noxious fumes will make
this one of our more popular exhibits with the younger crowd and
those young men trying to impress girls with how macho they are. Now
if you will follow me to our next exhibit I will show you our new
giant carnivorous plants! Robert is in charge of that section. Had
anyone see Robert? He was right there by the giant Venus Fly Trap.”
The wonders of the world are amazing to
me. Rotting meat flowers take the cake. Well they should take cake
since you don't want to eat those plants. Wait a second! That is
brilliant! Smelling like rotting meat will keep the humans away. Now
if these plants can just find a way to keep away my dog who has the
philosophy: “If it ain't been dead and rotting in the sun for a
week it ain't worth eating.”
No comments:
Post a Comment