It was madness! The screams were deafening. I could hear shots
being fired all around me as the smoky haze made visibility limited.
Then the shot that got me came not from the front as any honorable
assassin would do but from behind. Everything went dark. Well, not
everything but everything on my lasertag vest went dark. I turned in
time to see an eight-year-old boy laughing as he sprinted away
clearly breaking the solemn oath we had all taken prior to leaving
the airlock. “I will not run” were the words I used and he used.
How could he toss aside the noble vow we had taken as fellow
warriors? This breach of conduct could not be tolerated but I was not
about to turn to the marshal who was roaming the corridors. This was
between two warriors holding dorky looking lasers while wearing
cumbersome vests that would allow others to make us beep and vibrate.
We were practically samurai!
Through the darkness I tracked my prey. He would pay for his
treachery. The shooting in the back and the running was just wrong.
As I turned the corner, I came face to face with my nemesis. Well,
actually it was face to belly button since I was almost twice as tall
at the little twerp. Normally my 6' 1” stature is a benefit to most
athletic activities. Sadly, lasertag is not one of those sports where
it is a benefit. It does allow anyone within a five mile radius to
see the big guy with the flashing lights on his vest so they can
shoot him. But not this time. I had dead in my sights. He was going
down! Then I heard the sound that made my blood boil. My vest blinked
and went out as his laser found the target on my chest as his high
pitched, whiny laughter echoed through my ears.
“Nice shot,” as I grumbled a pseudo-compliment trying to save
face and be the adult as he once again broke the rules and RAN off.
But he cheated somehow! I know it! I know it! I know it!!! Waaaaaaa!
I can't prove it but no one without marine sniper training is that
good of a shot. Are they teaching that in elementary schools these
days? Or perhaps he is a genetic experiment done by the Army Rangers
to create the first of a new kind of soldier that has been made from
the DNA of the finest of the Special Ops commandos from around the
world and been trained in guerrilla warfare. Now he has been
unleashed on the lasertag community as a way of testing and honing
his mad skills. Yeah, that's got to be the reason he was able to tag
me twice.
Two can play that game. I have watched every Chuck Norris movie
ever made. I know a thing or two about this kind of warfare. As I
prepared another ambush for my enemy I know only by the codename
Fuzzy Pickle, it occurred to me that I may be taking this whole thing
a little too seriously. It is just a game and he is just a kid out
there having some fun. I pondered the concept that I should be the
responsible adult and allow him his fun and not become so obsessed as
to rob a child of his joy. Then again I really wanted to shoot that
little, cheating creep so forget about the responsible adult crap.
This is Chuck Norris revenge level entrapment to make him pay for his
crimes against my humanity. I could hear him coming closer and
closer. A smile crossed my face because I had calculated the exact
angle needed to blast him and show him who was the real
hunter/warrior and who was the cheater who got in a couple lucky
shots. He came around the corner not in front of me but behind me and
shot me in the back. Again.
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