There's an old Irish proverb that says, "May ye be an hour in Heaven 'fore the Devil knows you’re gone." There's a new Dougish proverb that says, "May the Beano be an hour in your system 'fore the chili dog hits your colon." I think Tone would like that one. Perhaps we need to look at some of the best old proverbs that need to have a modern spin.
- To err is human, to forgive requires a dog.
- A Rolling Stone gathers some weed.
- Never say diet!
- Nothing is certain but death, taxes and the fact that there will be a slow driver in the fast lane when you’re late for an appointment for a job interview.
- April showers being flood insurance claims.
- A fool and his money usually means he inherited it.
- The bigger they are, the harder it feels when they land on you.
- The early bird will be singing right outside your window on Saturday morning.
- There is no fool like an old member of Congress.
- A barking dog will bite you between barks.
- Do unto others as you see them doing to the waitress at the Waffle House.
- Rats stay on the cruise ship while the passengers abandon it.
- Fight fire with napalm.
- Finders keepers, losers look futilely in the lost and found.
I hope these new perspectives help you see some of the best
proverbs out there in a new light. Sorry it took so long to think of this one,
but better late than not thinking of it in the first place… or something like
that.
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