Underwear Under Where?

The time has come to discuss a topic that is near and dear to many men out there. The debate has raged for years about the best and brightest. The emotions run high and there is no reasoning with either side of this divisive and controversial issue. As a rule I try to avoid topics that can lead to disharmony but the time has come for both sides to meet in brotherly love and find a way to get along even though there is no possibility of finding a middle ground. The topic is of course the age old question of boxers or briefs?

I would like to start by saying that I have both kinds in my drawer and wear both. I am truly unbiased and impartial. So that being said, let’s look at boxers. Well, not look. We are going to talk about them. If you are looking at them I don’t want to know. And stop it! You’re supposed to be reading this blog. Ok. We will all wait while you look. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Are you done? Waiting. Waiting. Ok. Now on to boxers.

The benefit of the boxers is the freedom they instill on the wearer. They give the illusion of going commando without actually going commando. If you don’t know what that means then may I recommend Googling it? There is also the advantage that you don’t look like – and here I am quoting that great philosopher Chris Titus – a mutant four-year-old. You look like a man who knows how to wear underwear. You look like a man who is going places and doing things. You look like a man who may hurt himself if he tried to jog in those things. You look like a man with confidence in himself as he stands tall and proud looking absolutely nothing like the guy on the underwear box.

Now the tighty whitey’s are another story entirely. You ladies out there must admit that even thought they make us look like we are just now getting to wear big boy pants that they do serve the purpose for which they were intended. That purpose is to keep your pants and your gluteus maximus (or minimus if you work out) separated so no harm will befall the slacks to create a pantalone problem. They also make us realize that women are not the only ones who discover that support can be beautiful.

All this leads us to the inevitable conclusion that there is a best and brightest and it is time to accept that boxer briefs are the way to go.