Unusual Phobias

While looking for unusual words to be used by one of my unusual characters (his name in Tone and is one the main characters in the Spiritscape Chronicles), I stumbled across the word anatidaephobia. Now I am certain all of you are quite familiar with this irrational fear, but on the off chance that you are not well versed on your aquatic avian aversions, allow me to elaborate. It is the fear that somewhere a duck is watching you. I think it inflicts duck hunters who cannot seem to get a shot off. This is not to be confused with anatiDAFFYaobia which only has one reported case. I checked and Elmer Fudd is in therapy for this one.

That got me thinking about phobias. It seems there are irrational fears about everything under the sun. Now that I think about it, heliophobia is the irrational fear sunlight. Sometimes you have to wonder if some of these fears have been created by therapists who don’t have enough clients. Here are a few of my favorite phobias.

Xanthophobia is the fear of the color yellow. When I first read about this one I thought it had something to do with cowardice and being called yellow-bellied. After careful research (a.k.a. Google), I discovered that it had nothing to do with Looney Toons. However, I do believe there should be another one called xanthoSUBMERSIBLEphobia. It is the fear of The Beatles.

Now turophobiacs have a difficult time taking a good pictures. Every time someone raises a camera and says, “Say cheese!” these individuals have a startled look as they search in vain for the terrifying dairy product that causes them irrational fear. It also makes them feel not so gouda. (I know that was a terrible joke, but it’s so bad it’s funny. Right? I said, right? Someone please agree with me.)

In the 80s, with Madonna coming into favor, those with omphalophobia truly had a trying time. These poor individuals with the fear of navels would have hated all those truly great videos including “Like a Virgin” and “Lucky Star”. Going back and looking at them now I wonder, what was the big deal? Sure she is showing off her belly button and making the ophalophobiacs rather uncomfortable; but at least she’s in a boat with clothes on and not naked on a wrecking ball. Is there is a fear of Miley Cyrus destroying your home? Let’s call it collisiusorbuscyriophobia.

Now some of you reading this must have this fear. Nomophobia is the fear of being without mobile phone coverage. I shudder just thinking about that terror. I bet that would make a great horror flick. A group of really hot, physically fit young people are driving through a small town in western Kansas when their car breaks down. They are horrified to discover that there is no cell service and the 4G on their phones is useless. The tension builds as the cheerleader can’t update her Facebook status; the football star can’t tweet what is happening; the texts sent by the girl who is cute-but-not-as-pretty-as-the-cheerleader are not going out; and the cybergeek can’t use a gum wrapper, two toothpicks and a straw to boost the signal. They all die of boredom since they have no idea how to read a book, play a board game or use a landline. Scary, isn’t it?

Now pogonophobia is the fear of Duck Dynasty. Well, actually it’s the fear of beards, but that’s the same thing in my book. As a beard wearing male, I cannot understand this fear. But as a straight beard wearing male, I don’t have to kiss someone with a beard either so what do I know?

I hope these irrational fears have helped you realize and face some of those fears that have been weighing you down. Even if they haven’t, at least you know there are some people who have weirder phobias than you.