Waking Up Is Hard to Do

There are few things better than having the chance to wake up on your own. Sure, getting free tickets to the Superbowl when the Broncos are playing is better. An all expense paid trip to Tahiti when they are offering girls free Spring Break tickets there might just be a little better. That warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you get to watch the jerk who cut you off in traffic stopped a mile down the road by the motorcycle cop with his ticket pad out writing a really big ticket is pretty good. Of course finding out that Star Trek is real would be cool too. Now that I think about it there are a lot of things better than waking up on your own. But it is still a great way to start the day.

Like every wonderful, pure and beautiful thing in this world there is a flip side. Few things in life prepare you for the hateful intrusion of an alarm clock to your dreamland. I was having this wonderful dream of floating in the ocean of margaritas on a marshmallow raft with the leash of a purple and orange sea turtle in one hand while a dolphin waiter was bringing me a chimmy changa when my alarm went off. Why there were no women in that dream may say a lot about my psyche or it may be that dream had already passed. Hey, I don't remember all my dreams! Anyway, that peaceful, blissful paradise was shattered by the alarm. The sea turned to gin (yuck), the turtle started snapping and the dolphin turned into a shark that ate my chimmy changa. I hate alarms!

Shouldn't we start a letter writing campaign to Congress. If they can make a law that makes us move our clocks forward and back one hour every six months for no apparent reason then let's get those lazy politicos to use their power for good instead of evil. Granted a few may burst into flames by doing something good but I think it is worth the risk. Actually, I think that is another good reason to do this!! I propose that the Congress of the United States of America pass a law banning alarm clocks. The provisions of this new legislation would protect those of us who prefer to sleep later from being persecuted in the workplace and force them to allow us to work at the hours during which we are the most productive or at least awake. Who really gets anything done before 10:00am anyway? As long as we put in our 40 hour work week (lol) why wouldn't that be a better way of doing business? 

Join me today in writing and calling and pestering our congressmen and women to do the right thing! If nothing else they may send us tickets to tour the White House which is all I really wanted from mine in the first place.