Monday Morning Mischief

I don't know about you but I do not like Mondays. It is just so hard to go back to work after a wonderful weekend of wackiness. Having faced many manic Mondays without The Bangles to help me through I have come up with some handy helpful hints to habitual hilarity for your health. Here are my suggestions for Monday mayhem.

• Show up to work in a tuxedo and insist that everyone call you Mr. Penguin while muttering about Batman.
• At random moments shout, "Happy birthday!" then whisper, "Who said that?"
• Insist that it is National Noogie Day and you are obligated on pain of death to knuckle rub everyone's head.
• Explain to your boss you feel the company should immediately begin a random study into the effects of romantic chaos theory and its existential affects on worker productivity and that you will need a $250,000 budget to start the research.
• Stand on your desk and begin reading from the Inferno of Dante's Divine Comedy and declare that his fiction has finally been realized in this very building!
• Shave your head before going in to work and when someone asks you about it grab your head and say, "I thought that girl with the scissors on the bus looked suspicious."
• Get a Mickey Mouse Pez dispenser and go up to everyone to offer to share with them your secret vitamins of world domination.
• Roll your office chair into the hall and tell everyone you are in time out.
• Insist that everyone call you but your new name: Darth Tator.
• Pour water from a flask into your coffee while making it look like you are being sneaky.
• After you prove to everyone that it was a joke replace the water with vodka.
• Walk up to random employees that do not know you very well and ask if they know what your new title of Executive Employee Termination Consultant means.

If none of these helpful hints appeal to you or you are just too afraid of meeting the Executive Employee Termination Consultant if you try any of these then there is a Plan B. Stay in bed and wait to face the week until Tuesday.