I know many people who have a green thumb. My great grandmother had the most amazing yard and several beautiful gardens that she tended and care for to allow me the privilege of running around it and messing it up. My mother can grow the best veggies in her gardens and even can make flowers bloom in ponds. My ex-wife could really grow flowers and veggies. I miss the veggies.
The gene for green must skip a generation. My thumb is anything but green. I like to think of it as a little blue with a touch purple and the bit of flaming red too! I can kill plants better than anyone I know. Lettuce will wilt if I’m not fast enough while eating my salad. A boutonniere in my blazer won’t last long enough to make it out of the bedroom. All it takes is one touch. Flowers die. Leaves wither. It is really sad because I like nature. There are two plants that seem to have immunity to my herbicidal hand – kudzu and poison ivy. Why can’t my powers be used for good instead of evil?
To let you know the level of my destructiveness to dandelions (actually they are immune too) I have killed a cactus. My dear, sweet, loving, and slightly sadistic mother felt sorry for me and decided that I needed a plant that could not be killed. A simple little potted cactus was the fauna flavor from my family. It was decided that no one could possibly kill a cactus. Oh how they underestimated me. Years ago this all happened and my mom still laughs about it. I don’t know what happened. Turning over a new leaf, so to speak, I talked to it, thought nice thoughts around it, and watered it every day! And it still died! What’s up with that?
But if you ever need someone to get rid of those pesky petunias or the raunchy roses, give me a call and I will get rid of those terrible tulips.
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