The Buzz

There is one kind of buzz that gives me more pleasure than any other kind out there. It is a feeling of empowerment and enjoyment. It can sting like so many cannot.

There is also a certain level of intoxication that comes from this buzz that is like no other.

One buzz that this isn’t is the bee buzz. I hate that sound! You know something bad is going to happen if you hear that. Bzzzzzz. Then if it goes up in pitch you have two choices. Choice one: Run. Choice two: stung. And sometimes choice one does not get you away from choice two. Then there is choice three that involves a fly – or in this case bee – swatter. Kill or be killed… err … stung. My personal preference is an industrial sized can of Raid with the optional flamethrower that can be found in your local army surplus store. That buzz is no fun at all for any of us unless you’re a bee keeper in which case the whole Raid/flamethrower thing may not be the best option.

The second kind of buzz requires the consumption of a certain level of alcohol to achieve a lowering of inhibitions that lead to the making of friends with people with whom you normally would not even consider being in the same state. However, in the buzzed state of beer induced brotherhood they have become your BFFs as long as the last F means, “For as long as my buzz lasts.” That buzz when brought on by tequila also leads to Spring Break pictures that can come back to haunt you when you are being considered for that Supreme Court Justice job. Also that kind of buzz when the source is Smirnoff has been known to cause pregnancies that are difficult to explain when you are not sure exactly what happened after the party. And don’t even get me started about the day after the buzz and the headaches that make it so that you have super-sensitive hearing that allows you to hear the spider crawling across the ceiling wearing what sounds like tap shoes and coughing like a 3 pack a day smoker. That spider really needs help!

The buzz that I like the best is the one that lets you in and out of secure areas. It doesn’t matter to me if it is letting me in the building of the friend or the maximum security section of Shawshank prison. That buzz opens doors – literally! Being able to get in a place that not everyone can is such a feeling of power. You stand there and hear the buzz and open the door and you look around with the smile that says, “Yes I am worthy to enter this sanctum sanctorum that the rest of you mere peasants are not even allow to glimpse.” There is something to be said for that rush knowing that you can get past the security due to the worthiness within you that others deem you righteous enough to enter.

Now if someone would just buzz that padded door and let me out of this straightjacket I’d really feel empowered!