Politics

I want you to understand that I am a registered independent when it comes to politics. Equal opportunity offending is what I shoot for since I don't entirely agree with either of the mainline parties in the United States. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. Now before you make comments or send me e-mails about why your party is best or why I'm an idiot or a fence sitter, please understand that I don't care. My goal is to make fun of politicians regardless of their affiliation.

In case you needed reasons (which I know you don't) to not trust politicians, here are a few of my thoughts and a few of their quotes.

• Look at the word: "Poli" which means many and "tics" which are blood suckers.
• "If pro is the opposite of con then progress must be the opposite of Congress." - Mark Twain
• Many politicians are lawyers. Need I say more?
• Have you ever seen them on TV? They all look like used car salesmen or televangelists with bad toupes.
• They asks questions like, "What does 'is' mean?"
• "I didn't inhale." - Bill Clinton
• "Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted." - George W. Bush
• "Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary  
• "What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?" —Marion Barry
• "I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." - Ronald Reagan
• "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." - Dan Quayle

 The next time you are watching a political commercial just remember how much harder it would be to do a monologue on late night tv or write a blog without them.