It has been my great privileged over the
years to enjoy some very arresting aromas in the form of the fabulous
fragrances of females. It has also be my misfortune to suffer
through some assaulting aromas that were intended for harm by some
femme fatales. The purpose of this blog is to give guidance to gals
guaranteeing the good graces of the guys. (I dare to to say that
sentence five times fast!)
Ladies please take careful note of the
following suggestions to avoid fragrance faux pas. (By the way, “faux
pas” is French for “DON'T EVER WEAR THAT STINKY STUFF AGAIN!!! or
something like that.)
- Perfumes named after flowers should be avoided unless you are trying to attract bees or hummingbirds.
- DO NOT buy perfume named after a celebrity who is not old enough to buy their own alcohol! They have not lived long enough to know what smells good.
- If people run from you shouting, “Le pew!” that means that the perfume called “Pepe” is not named for an eccentric supermodel but a cartoon skunk.
- Any perfume that leaves a visible vapor trail may not be the best choice for catching men unless you are trying to poison Batman.
- Anything that is named after a vegetable that no one really likes should be avoided: Beetroot!
- A perfume that refers to bodily fluids may not be the most appealing choice. Secretions is a real French perfume. Perhaps they should stick to snails, towers and fries.
- If you are trying to pick up a toddler then there is a Play-Doh perfume that is right for you. If you like those of us with big boy pants then you may want to reconsider.
- For those of you who like getting guys who never leave the couch, have a happy, distant look on their faces, and cannot keep a job that does not include the phrase, “Do you want fries with that?” then the Cannabis Flower fragrance is just right for you. If you want someone who is not a perpetual stoner then don't take a hit off that one.
These are just a few tips for you
ladies out there. Now remember that we guys know what we like in a
cologne for us: Beer!
Im a girl on a budget so my cologne comes from Bath And Body Works. But there is this guy at work..... Obsession. And he bathes in it. Ewww. So guys need these rules to.
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